I Guess If You Don't Jump...You'll Never Know if You Can Fly

How many people are in your life that you could without a doubt, say you trusted with your life? Think about it.

Probably not that many. Because no matter how close of friends we have, no matter how loving our family is, and no matter how good of a relationship we are in, trust can always be an issue.

When we are young, we trust our parents. We know that they will be honest, guide us through life, and teach us all that they know in order for us to grow into healthy and successful adults. We know that they are telling us that when we go to school, everything will be ok and we will always come home at the end of the day. They help us through those awkward years. They are there for us, even through adulthood. They are our first and foremost form of trust and unconditional love (for the most part).

Then we learn to trust other people, and they become our friends. We know that they will be honest, guide us through life when no one else understands what is going on, and help us grow into healthy and successful adults. We trust our friends to keep all of our secrets, to be our shoulder to cry on, to laugh with...friends are everything. To be really cheesy, they really are our chosen family.

Throughout life we know that we can trust our moms, dads, sisters, and brothers, our other family members, teachers, and friends. But when it comes to a relationship...how far are we willing to go to put complete trust in another person. Who pops into our lives at an unexpected moment, who we haven't known forever. I think what scares us most about relationships is that, realistically, they aren't one of a kind. Moms are. Dads are. We can't go searching for new parents if something goes wrong. The same is said for all family. Even friends are not completely isolated, since they usually come in groups. Granted, a best friend is something a bit different.

But in relationships, trust is pretty much all you are going on at first. You trust they are honest and genuine. So when things go wrong at the BEGINNING of this new found "love" things can be pretty murky from there on out. Think of it as learning to ride a bike. Whoever is guiding us tells us they will never let go to that back of the seat, they will keep us safe. Before we know it, we look behind us and see them standing far away...nowhere near that bike seat. And we tumble. How long does it take to get back on that bike? How long does trust take to build after those initial setbacks?

Here is a person that you ideally have given most of yourself to. Your time, your efforts, your attention, your love...even the smallest slip-up can have you running in the other direction. It can scare us so much to trust another person fully, especially since this kind of trust is new. How do we know they won't hurt us, make us cry, make us untrustworthy of everything? We can't...love truly is blind. In a different sense, of course.

I suppose I don't really have a point. I just think about it from time to time about how much trust can hurt us. It's a catch 22. If we keep our guard up and are slow to trust, relationships suffer...people are stressed and strained from being constantly bombarded with uncertainty and questions. People are pushed away. The second we let that guard fall, however, we are completely vulnerable. And we get hurt...and feel like an idiot.

Anyone can say nice things, words that sound so honest and real that we will promise never to be weary of them again. How much of that is bullshit? Probably, a lot. They tell us the truth that we want to hear, in order to save themselves.

I sound so pessimistic, and I realize that. And I don't mean to sound like I'm bitching. I just want to know if anyone understands, or feels the same way at all. Or if I just confused and made you utterly terrified of trusting someone ever. Sorry for that...

Overall, it's nice to trust someone...whomever it is. A parent, a sibling, friend, or other...and how great would it be if we could trust them all with our lives. I guess it comes down to getting back on the bike, and learning how to ride.

Quote for Thought

I don't have much to say tonight...although some events this weekend have given me ideas for some extremely interesting posts later on. I'm just too tired to think about that right now.

But I did recently hear a really interesting quote that I thought to share. Maybe you won't find it intriguing as I did, but I guess I don't really care. Anyways, here it is.

"I'd rather have a little bit of something, than everything of nothing."

Think about it...what would you rather have?

Bring on the Scrooges

So the Holiday season is upon us. Brought in with Christmas music, decorations, the bitter cold, and bitter attitudes all around. As a kid, I marvelled at the "bad mood" and "stress" adults insisted Christmastime brought. How could a time of no school, tons of junk food, and presents be accompanied by inconvenience? Enter, the era after high school. Now, there are plenty of reasons stress is building up through this late-November season. And to vent a bit, I'm just going to make sure all of you enjoy the same pleasures I am.

Gift Buying: Honestly, who could have thought this is so hard? Birthdays are one thing. You buy one gift, for one person. Usually you have plenty of time to think about it, an inside joke on-hand to accompany the gift, or a 21st where all you need to buy your friend is a hangover. Christmas is a completely different side of gift-buying. You want to get the perfect gift...ahem...gifts for multiple people. And how do you decide what they want, what they will like, and more importantly...what fits in the budget. Which takes me to Holiday Headache #2.

Money: Who has it? Not me. Not most college students are struggling through second-hand books, cheap groceries, and spending their cash on way too much alcohol on the weekends. How are we supposed to afford gifts through these conditions? And if you are one of the lucky who have a stable job, you are right back to situation #1. And of course you get your parents who insist they want nothing for Christmas, it's "all about us." But then you feel like an ass on Christmas morning when every other child has at least supplied a hand-made craft. And please, who is going to take a macaroni drawing from a 20-year old seriously? Seriously.

The Weather/Lines: Obviously, if you have Headaches #1 and #2 solved, you are alright and set on to endure the Christmas stores. But, alas, here is another problem. Stores are generally packed, even if it be the Rite-Aid at 2am. Christmas shopping occurs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So of course you end up parking about a mile away from the shop door, which leads you to want to bundle up. Inside, however, you have the mess of wearing an over sized coat, attempting to try on and look at clothes, while maneuvering as an Eskimo. Of course the stores are packed with crazy-bitch moms grabbing that last freaking Tickle-Me-Elmo for the bratty child who cannot LIVE without it. In the process of their dive for the insane and annoying toy, these moms will push anyone out of their way, send people flying into carts of candy or aisles of more freakishly crazed parents. So please, tell me how this holiday shopping thing is fun?

School: In order to get to Headaches 1-3, one this age must first complete the school's semester. So on top of worrying about what to get people, working overtime to get the money needed for the gifts, and getting up enough courage to brave the stores, we must study for finals and finish up those last projects. Thank God there is only a couple weeks of this.

By now you think I am a complete Scrooge. I'm not. I actually love decorating, shopping, and stressing over what to get for people. Now, however, I completely understand the stressfulness of the holidays. Understand it way too much.

'Tis the holiday-freaking-season.

Hey Mr. DJ

I've been a bad updater, once again. It's just not been the greatest couple of weeks and thoughts aren't flowing too well.

But I did download..ahem...bought a couple of new cd's and wanted to give a few of the better numbers.

Rascal Flatts - Still Feels Good
- Here
- Winner at a Losing Game

Both good, one uplifting, one depressing giving you a nice mix.

Carrie Underwood - Carnival Ride
- All American Girl
- Just A Dream

Again, a little ups and downs for the emotions.

Hopefully these can hold you over until a real post. Have a good Halloween!

Horror Porn

I love to talk about things from IAH class, they just provide so much content. I think I'm going to post a paper I wrote for this class as well, just because it is also a debatable topic, and it will give this place a little more depth.

So. Horror Porn. Interesting topic, huh?

Horror Porn (n.): any movie with a mass murderer who kills by means of chainsaw, knife, ax, etc. Usually will contain at least 2 naked teenage girls, a no-man's land town, and a mentally unstable-because-of-childhood-trauma middle-aged man who loves cutting up people for the hell of it.

Examples: Halloween 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel, The Hills Have Eyes 1, 2, House of Wax, Scream 1, 2, 3, Disturbia, The Hitcher...should I continue? I think not, you get the picture.

Why do we submit ourselves to watching such graphic, disgusting bits of human brutality? For much of the same reasons guys love porn. The unrealistic satisfaction of something taboo.

Is it honestly THAT entertaining to watch terrible things happen to innocent people? It just completely shows America's aspects of life today. Can't just rent a good ole' chick flick or a film with a good story behind it. We need the thrill of the grotesque. What's sad is that these films sure are money makers. People flock to theaters opening night in order to scare themselves. But is it really that scary? You know the story, you know the plot. They are all the same. I think the real scary movies are those films of mind-thrillers. The kind that make you think. Not the genre of skinning humans for the hell of it. Come on people. Grow out of the stage of sadistic needs...don't watch big dudes with low self esteem mutilate a hot girl and her hot boyfriend.

The real horror is what kind of Americans are putting money into these films. I went and saw Halloween...(I did, I admit it. But I sort of was hoping for a plot, but I guess with Rob Zombie you shouldn't ask for much of that) Anyways. About 20 minutes before the movie ended, a mom walked out with her 10 or 11 year old son. Seriously lady! You took your 6th grader to a movie that repeatedly said "whore" "cunt" "dick-sucking"....Sick lady, sick.

We all wonder what the world has come to. But look at cases like this. No discretion whatsoever. Let kids be kids. Let them worry about the horrors of the real-world...or in these cases the terrible sides of the real world...when they come to it. Enjoy happiness and innocence while it lasts, because believe me, it doesn't last forever.

Pay money to see movies that don't cut up people and freeze them. Don't be an addict to this disgusting genre of horror porn.

Takin' It Down A Notch

I feel that recently, this blog has been very straight-faced, serious topics. Tonight's entry, therefore, will...in reference to the title..."take it down a notch" in seriousness. Speaking of lowering standards, let us discuss the awards that were the 2007 VMA's.

Um. Who the hell let Britney open the show? Sure, it was a good publicity stunt.."mother of 2 will bare all, shakin' her thang..." But honestly? We knew the show was going downhill the moment her lips quite obviously missed some words and her not so hot body graced our (thankfully only 13 inch) screen. I guess I was expecting a little more of her. Maybe a little introduction of "Oops, I did it again," to note on some irony. But the audience received a less than half-assed performance. I could do those dance moves. I can lip-sync better than that. You are on drugs girl, go crazy with it! Looking back at it, and the crowds reactions, I figure that MTV must have been joking. That could not have seriously been an opening act. Too bad her wig didn't fly off and hit 50 Cent....who was watching with a painful expression. Hopefully Sean Preston and Jayden James can look back some day at the oh-so-talented mommy. Let's take a look...

Classic. And the comedian's opening comments? Please do not EVER put your lips together and speak of gross things on national television. And of course Kid Rock's little fight during Alicia Keys was top notch. Amy Winehouse anyone? Who knew she was such a hit.

I won't bash the entire evening. I got giddy when my girl-crushes of The Hills came on. Loved their dresses...did not love the glam red-lips LC was sporting. It's just not a favorite look for me.

Chris Brown is the most talented 18-year-old alive, and I did my best to not jump on the TV screen as I watched him dance to Michael Jackson. Justin is always good to watch, giggled a little when he mentioned he was getting old...(sigh)....

Overall...VMA's get (in honor of MSU)....a 2.0. That high because of Chris, JT, and of course LC, Audrina, and Whitney.

Step up next year MTV, get yours.

The Great Debate

Even though the topic has been hot for years, my recent IAH class makes me think more clearly...well, makes me think more at least, on the subject. Creation versus Evolution.

[First and foremost, I have to say that I did not realize Darwin was not all about the monkey to human thing. Not him...that was just us apparently, using IDEAS of his and making them into the truth.]

Maybe it's because I attended a Catholic school my entire life until college, but I'm still for the theory of creation...in a way. I may not be the most devout Catholic student ever, but I at least hold strong to a few of the main points here, creation obviously included. My IAH professor, though makes an extremely interesting lecture, he kind of pisses me off a bit. He is really all for Darwinism and the ideals of evolution. Which is fine, but when anyone makes a comment about religion he sure as hell has his science book answer ready. And an article he just made us read actually included the phrase..."we call our ignorance God."

Wow. Talk about bold.

For me, it is a struggle on what to believe. You want to be considered intelligent on the topic but it's hard. Faith or science...is it distinguishable? The debate now of course, is that of Intelligent Design. The theory makes it clear not to ever mention God or a supreme being, but rather an, well, intelligent designer. But in a world so fast and full of discoveries and so-called facts, it's hard to stay true to your kindergarten religion classes.

Take this picture for example. This is Lucy. "Evolution's daughter." This is the oldest skeleton of a person yet to be found, dating back to some 3.6 million years ago. Darwin-lovers debate...if the Book of Genesis stands true, humans were only created around 8-10,000 years ago. So how is this skeleton possible? Right.

I suppose it is hard to argue with such FACTS. I was getting pretty irritated in one particular IAH class when students were laughing about the entire Noah's Ark deal, bread and wine, etc. So, I raised my hand and told the class that there were two different types of Christians. Those that took the Bible literally (God DID create the world in 7 days, etc) and those that take it symbolically. (Props to sophomore religion class). Isn't it possible, that Genesis is a symbolically created story, projecting the idea of evolution through this so-called intelligent designer?

I like to think that God created evolution. This way, God is still involved...but certain "facts" of science are not ignored.

Then this answer also makes me feel a little guilty, maybe just setting and example for those atheists who think God is only there for Christians to set a conscience, or to make us feel better about our lives. That something is actually greater and a heaven is waiting, ie. God as a convenience.

I hope that's not what my conclusion of the topic sounded like. Wherever you stand, let's not debate that this Great Debate will last for a very long time. Perhaps until the next Charles Darwin comes along, or until perhaps God himself makes an appearance and sets all questions aside.

Random

So I have been a terrible updater, even though in my first post to this thing I promised to be good. It's not that many people even read this, it's just that I have to do this for my job. And I'm beginning to suck at it. This post might be borderline old-live-journal-post, just because I have no topic at hand that is going to be a full on read. Let's stick with school.

This is going to be one hell of a semester. I'm not sure if college junior year is supposed to match or even up scale high school junior year (in the sense of being a bitch) but I feel the load is already too much. I have realized that professors believe their class is the ONLY thing we have to do. The only thing we have to spend money on, the one thing we LOVE to spend all of our time with, etc. I spent.....$300 on one class. In books and supplies. ONE CLASS PEOPLE. So forgive me for not updating as much, my life has been hell. In short, goals for this semester: during the week, study hard get that grade. Weekends - all hell breaks loose. Only two years of college left...I do not want to be the one who studies on Saturday night if I can get around it. Saturday night studies will amount to learning how to bong a beer with ease.

Maybe.

Work is as difficult to find here as it was in Saginaw. Not because of lack of jobs, but because of my lack of time. Class schedules are at an all time low this semester making it almost impossible for me to land on some cash. I'm sure many feel the same way. (That was me trying to make this blog less personal...because this is not the purpose)

Anyways...I'm going to make another promise that this week will hold an entry rid of anything too personal (aka boring) and maybe not so much on the deep side. Keep reading, it will get better.

Lies: Self Gain or Self Destruction

Everyone lies. Obviously, the answer to the question "does this make me look fat?," ("no, of course not!") is more than likely false. Some of those daring adventures and numerous awards on resumes are a little...stretched. Advertisements every day on tv, in magazines, or online are huge exaggerations of the product they are promoting.

These lies, like countless others, are pretty much harmless. While they aren't truthful, they aren't completely vain either. However, sometimes, lies can be much more destructive.

The main question here of course is, why lie at all? Almost all cases of lying can be answer that question with one word: selfishness. People lie there way out of gossip ("well, that's just what i heard...), they claim they did nothing wrong. No one wants to look bad. No one wants the consequences for their actions. No one wants a bad name. Ah ha. A bad name. So tell me, is a liar something people want to be called now-a-days?

I don't understand it at all. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be noble and say I've never told an untruthful word in my life. I have. Probably too many times to name. But when it comes to those I am closest with, the truth comes naturally. Even if it isn't what people want to here. And maybe that makes me too much of a loud-mouth, a bitch, whatever it may be. I'd rather be a truthful bitch than a backstabbing liar.

Each small fib told just leads to another larger one, until eventually you have one big snowball of inconvenience that you can't even begin to shovel your way out from. But why even go down that mountain in the first place?

So many questions in tonight's entry, but I guess I don't have too many answers on the subject. All too frequently I have been the victim of such lies and it's starting to catch up to me. And I apologize for the slightly personal touch on this piece, but it's quite a personal topic.

People lie in the hopes of clawing their way out of something too much over their heads. As a measure of self gain so you may say. But once the world is in on your little secret, you have pretty much destroyed your name and have started the path to self destruction. Trust and honesty are number one in my book, and many other girls would agree. We are much more forgiving for the truth. Trust me.

All-in-all, this probably is not the big comeback entry we were all hoping for. It's more of a venting session, that probably won't even be read by those it is directed at. Whatever, I guess I have to pick my battles. And lying is one the liar never wins.

Still Living

Hey everyone...sorry I haven't updated in awhile, things have been pretty hectic around here. This isn't an update either, but I promise I'll get my lazy ass to write something by Thursday. It will be a good one, to make up for lost time of course. Keep reading ;)

The Opposite Sex

This weekend, just like many before have confirmed certain thoughts that I, like the majority of females on the planet, have always thought: Men and women could not be more different.

We can all ramble on all we want about how when you find that special someone, all differences will be cast aside and bliss is all you encounter. That is complete bullshit. No matter who you are with, whether it be your significant other, male companions, or even your father, seeing eye-to-eye is a pretty far off notion.

Women like to be noticed. Not the center of attention all the time, obviously, but noticed when they take the time to do something special or have made a presence at all. There are some occasions when girls take more time to dress than others, wear special outfits, etc. Would it honestly hurt to say, "you look nice." ? No. We dish out compliments all the time, most of which go completely unheard of to their male destination. Little things like this matter the most to girls and it seems like guys cannot pick up on it at all. It may be rhetorical and cliche, but it really is the little things that matter. Doing things without us having to ask. Wanting to actually do them. To us, the male sex is pretty much oblivious to anything stated above.

And all men reading this will retort with, "Women make such a big deal about everything. If you expect us to notice things, you have to give a little too." A fine point, but think about it. How many times have we forgiven and forgotten about things you have done. Spending hours upon hours insisting to us, video games are worth it. (And worse, us actually playing.) Or you staying out late with friends and "forgetting" to call. Or all the times you say something completely unnecessary and hurtful. We are still with you, are we not? No matter how much of a complete jackass a guy seems, and said guy so much wants to throw the above line in a girl's face...remember first how much we DON'T make a big deal, before you say how much we do.

To a girl, a relationship...friendship or more...is the most significant thing in her life. When something goes wrong, say, a fight, this fight is the only thing she can think about. It hurts her, it eats away at her. Meanwhile, the male counterpart to this argument can sort things out. Friends, food, video games, relationship. The first three can be done without him even thinking about the relationship problem the girl is completely obsessed with. And I'm not saying that sometimes girls do not overreact, because clearly we do. And it is true that we tend to bring up the same argument again and again. But unless the female is completely insane...THERE IS A REASON FOR IT. And YOU, as a boyfriend, have not sufficiently helped her through it / get over it / etc. We are not completely irrational. We aren't always right.

But then again, neither are you.

There comes a time in every relationship where you must give and take a little. Where that point comes, is hard to say...maybe even impossible. But it is not right for one person to always make apologies, one person always to take the blame. As a female, I'm speaking not only from personal experience but as a witness. It's going to sound completely corny...but as a guy, you have certain "power" over a girl. Power is giving you way too much credit, but it's the only thing that is coming to mind. You have the ability to make a girl completely happy, or terribly miserable. We only hope to have the same affect over you, even if you never show it.

We may not ever understand each other, or ever agree the other is right. But for the sake of relationships, learn about your male or female companion, and don't take anything for granted. Just give a little. Save something that is probably worth saving.

Growing Up

Today I spent, not kidding, three hours sorting through all of my old pictures from high school. I took endless amounts of film to every special event - or even on ordinary days - our school put on. Every imaginable pose, place and person was somewhere scattered on my floor today. And everytime I flipped through a different time, memories flooded back. They say a picture says a thousand words. I think mine could fill a thousand books. I sorted each picture and each event, according to time. Fall of freshman year to walking down the aisle of graduation. Granted, most of the pictures were from school events...but many, too many, were full of summer time fun. I looked at the beach, and parks, and parties...and thought about the summer I am having so far. Understandably back then, only a few of us had jobs...and those were a few hours a week. I was one of the few back then, and now am one of the few who are unemployed. Anyways. While it's obvious that growing up means taking on more responsibility, does it mean that we have to take the fun out of it?

I know that people change. Well let me rephrase that. People grow into their personalities. In reality, people don't change - too much - at all anyways. I used to think they could, but once something is engraved in you for so long, that's just the way you are. But this is getting on to a completely new topic, one that I may write about soon.

So kids grow up, we move away to college and meet a countless amount of new people and form new lives and stronger relationships. But those you have in high school should still count. For me, I think some of the best friends I will ever have came from those four years between the ages of 14 and 18. Not because I don't make friends when I am away at school, but because I don't cancel out those other relationships from earlier. And while they keep growing stronger, the newer ones are simply catching up.

Responsibilities. Jobs, school work, relationships. All are essential to growing into someone successful. But can't fun be included in that? Gone are the times when waking up early meant nothing if a little fun was to be had the night before. Whether it's watching a movie or watching a friend do a keg stand is besides the point. I feel I do the same routine day in and day out, when I should be enjoying every day..doing something new. With people, I know, would savor as well.

Growing up is just such a mystery to me. They say adolescence is fleeting, which, is definitely true. I feel like yesterday could have been my 15th birthday. But so much happens so fast, it's hard to keep up. When does it stop being ok to stay up all night taking shots, spend the night on a friend's floor, and wake up in the clothes you got ready in last night? At some point, we are all supposed to grow out of this feeling of being helpless and alone, but I feel it's only just starting.

No matter how many close friends you have, or how much you value a significant other, can anyone really understand you or your growing feelings completely? After high school I thought was the real world. But college is just more work and more parties (minus of course constant summer fun). In two years, I have to make huge decisions. How much money I need to save a month to pay off tremendous student loans. Where I want to live. What I want to do with the rest of my life. The pressure is on.

But does that really mean no more fun?

I'm getting into way too much now, all of which I should save for entries to come.



being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
the only thing that matters is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right
- the ataris

Fairytales Vs. Fate

I love to read. Anything, pretty much. This summer I’m doing a great job keeping up with books, assuming nothing much else is taking up my time. The passion has inspired my career choice as well.

When we are younger, our parents feed to us hundreds of books and stories about princesses and princes, far-off lands and dreams. Children’s books are full of morals and lessons, all ending “happily ever after.” Because of this, from a very young age some of us are determined that things will always have these simplistic plots and happy endings. In consequence, experiences growing up pretty much shoot these fairytale wishes to hell. I guess it makes me naïve, and a bit ridiculous to read fictional books now and expect the actions within to take place in everyday affairs. Having said that, it is primarily my fault when something does not go ‘according to plan.’

Books amaze me. I recently read, twice I should add, “The Pact” written by Jodi Picoult. I love anything by this woman, so I am going to recommend her works to you. Anyways, “The Pact” was a story that, I’m going to say reached out to me at the risk of sounding really cheesy. But it did. I suppose the way it all played out, and the true feelings of each character made me enjoy it all the more. It’s funny how certain words in certain organization in certain parts of a story can have such a strong impact on someone’s psyche. Just like a fairytale, the book makes you want more out of anything in life, particularly a relationship. Maybe it is dangerous ground, expecting true life to come out of a script. Maybe it’s just a setup for a let-down. Either way, I think the passion behind a book is what makes it worth reading. And whether or not this passion can be a reality…well I guess that is specific to the reader.

If this isn’t making any sense to you, it’s ok. I’m having a hard time relating what I mean. Let me try again. Have you ever watched a movie, listened to the lyrics of a song, or read a really really great book and wanted to be a part of it? Or more specific, wanted the feelings and the actions of the characters to come out in people in your own life? Well, I’m one to read a book about some sappy love, and then expect candles and roses in my bedroom the next day.
Ok, I’m not that ridiculous. But it really makes you think about things. I get scared that maybe I’m just settling. Maybe there is a better job or a better school for me somewhere else, and I just went to State because of convenience. School isn’t the only thing either. But then I realize that maybe I just have way too high of expectations for certain things, and will never be satisfied.

Maybe the bedtime stories our parents used to read to us or the books we read now are just blurred visions of realities. Maybe writers started out wondering like me, and made up these stories in order to satisfy their own misfortunes.

This might be obvious and redundant, but I think words are the reason why (girls especially) love certain songs the way we do. Why love stories and anecdotes of accomplishments reach out to us so much. Words written in fantasy that probably never will be played out in real-life, but knowing that someone out there thinks like we do. Thinks enough of it to write it out, publish it for anyone to see.

I always want to wish that I can create my own fate. Wish it into the fairytales we all once believed. Wish it into my own ‘happily ever after.’

Here it is again, me attempting to start a blog and never going through with it. This time, I actually have to for a number of reasons. Firstly, to be any kind of journalist these days you need two things: clips and stories to show off and knowledge of the internet. I can Google all I want, but until I learn what really goes on behind the scenes of this, I'll never get a job in my field. Second, as you all know my summer job is nonexistent. Not for lack of trying, but because my resume, apparently sucks. Anyways... So if I want to do anything productive this vacation, I'm going to update this blog and have something to show for myself come JRN 306.

You don't have to read this, obviously. Nothing too personal is going to come up in here...just widespread and random topics. So as I said, I am going into journalism. Not writing for newspapers, not as an anchor...but as a what exactly I'm not sure. So I figure as much practice in the field I can get is more of a good thing than not. Just like any other normal girl, I watch Sex and the City and want to be Carrie Bradshaw and have the dream journalism jobs that you see in movies. Hopefully, I can get there someday. For now, its this blog. Humor me. (Oh, I'm also going to try to remember to type in AP style, the standard for journalism. I'm not the best at it...but then again it's not like anyone reading this will know it any better.)

I spent almost 20 minutes trying to think of a title for this damn thing. I don't even like the one I came up with, I just typed something in the box to get started with this. For some reason the title is really important to me, and before I said that none of you would have probably noticed. Now, you are looking at it and thinking "how ridiculous." And I am going really off of track here...

Not all true actually, because I never assigned a track to be followed. This will happen a lot in here I feel, because I'm not planning on this being an organized blog. Just practice.

I'm not sure how everything comes out when I type it either. This may sound weird, but during the day I think of things I could type and write down that make complete and perfect sense. But when it actually comes down to it, everything comes out odd and wrong. These are the areas I really need to work on I suppose.

I had a lot of conversations with different people today that could come as appropriate topics for tonight's entry. But for now, I think I'll just leave it as an introduction. Get started tomorrow.

Goodnight