I Guess If You Don't Jump...You'll Never Know if You Can Fly

How many people are in your life that you could without a doubt, say you trusted with your life? Think about it.

Probably not that many. Because no matter how close of friends we have, no matter how loving our family is, and no matter how good of a relationship we are in, trust can always be an issue.

When we are young, we trust our parents. We know that they will be honest, guide us through life, and teach us all that they know in order for us to grow into healthy and successful adults. We know that they are telling us that when we go to school, everything will be ok and we will always come home at the end of the day. They help us through those awkward years. They are there for us, even through adulthood. They are our first and foremost form of trust and unconditional love (for the most part).

Then we learn to trust other people, and they become our friends. We know that they will be honest, guide us through life when no one else understands what is going on, and help us grow into healthy and successful adults. We trust our friends to keep all of our secrets, to be our shoulder to cry on, to laugh with...friends are everything. To be really cheesy, they really are our chosen family.

Throughout life we know that we can trust our moms, dads, sisters, and brothers, our other family members, teachers, and friends. But when it comes to a relationship...how far are we willing to go to put complete trust in another person. Who pops into our lives at an unexpected moment, who we haven't known forever. I think what scares us most about relationships is that, realistically, they aren't one of a kind. Moms are. Dads are. We can't go searching for new parents if something goes wrong. The same is said for all family. Even friends are not completely isolated, since they usually come in groups. Granted, a best friend is something a bit different.

But in relationships, trust is pretty much all you are going on at first. You trust they are honest and genuine. So when things go wrong at the BEGINNING of this new found "love" things can be pretty murky from there on out. Think of it as learning to ride a bike. Whoever is guiding us tells us they will never let go to that back of the seat, they will keep us safe. Before we know it, we look behind us and see them standing far away...nowhere near that bike seat. And we tumble. How long does it take to get back on that bike? How long does trust take to build after those initial setbacks?

Here is a person that you ideally have given most of yourself to. Your time, your efforts, your attention, your love...even the smallest slip-up can have you running in the other direction. It can scare us so much to trust another person fully, especially since this kind of trust is new. How do we know they won't hurt us, make us cry, make us untrustworthy of everything? We can't...love truly is blind. In a different sense, of course.

I suppose I don't really have a point. I just think about it from time to time about how much trust can hurt us. It's a catch 22. If we keep our guard up and are slow to trust, relationships suffer...people are stressed and strained from being constantly bombarded with uncertainty and questions. People are pushed away. The second we let that guard fall, however, we are completely vulnerable. And we get hurt...and feel like an idiot.

Anyone can say nice things, words that sound so honest and real that we will promise never to be weary of them again. How much of that is bullshit? Probably, a lot. They tell us the truth that we want to hear, in order to save themselves.

I sound so pessimistic, and I realize that. And I don't mean to sound like I'm bitching. I just want to know if anyone understands, or feels the same way at all. Or if I just confused and made you utterly terrified of trusting someone ever. Sorry for that...

Overall, it's nice to trust someone...whomever it is. A parent, a sibling, friend, or other...and how great would it be if we could trust them all with our lives. I guess it comes down to getting back on the bike, and learning how to ride.