This weekend, just like many before have confirmed certain thoughts that I, like the majority of females on the planet, have always thought: Men and women could not be more different.
We can all ramble on all we want about how when you find that special someone, all differences will be cast aside and bliss is all you encounter. That is complete bullshit. No matter who you are with, whether it be your significant other, male companions, or even your father, seeing eye-to-eye is a pretty far off notion.
Women like to be noticed. Not the center of attention all the time, obviously, but noticed when they take the time to do something special or have made a presence at all. There are some occasions when girls take more time to dress than others, wear special outfits, etc. Would it honestly hurt to say, "you look nice." ? No. We dish out compliments all the time, most of which go completely unheard of to their male destination. Little things like this matter the most to girls and it seems like guys cannot pick up on it at all. It may be rhetorical and cliche, but it really is the little things that matter. Doing things without us having to ask. Wanting to actually do them. To us, the male sex is pretty much oblivious to anything stated above.
And all men reading this will retort with, "Women make such a big deal about everything. If you expect us to notice things, you have to give a little too." A fine point, but think about it. How many times have we forgiven and forgotten about things you have done. Spending hours upon hours insisting to us, video games are worth it. (And worse, us actually playing.) Or you staying out late with friends and "forgetting" to call. Or all the times you say something completely unnecessary and hurtful. We are still with you, are we not? No matter how much of a complete jackass a guy seems, and said guy so much wants to throw the above line in a girl's face...remember first how much we DON'T make a big deal, before you say how much we do.
To a girl, a relationship...friendship or more...is the most significant thing in her life. When something goes wrong, say, a fight, this fight is the only thing she can think about. It hurts her, it eats away at her. Meanwhile, the male counterpart to this argument can sort things out. Friends, food, video games, relationship. The first three can be done without him even thinking about the relationship problem the girl is completely obsessed with. And I'm not saying that sometimes girls do not overreact, because clearly we do. And it is true that we tend to bring up the same argument again and again. But unless the female is completely insane...THERE IS A REASON FOR IT. And YOU, as a boyfriend, have not sufficiently helped her through it / get over it / etc. We are not completely irrational. We aren't always right.
But then again, neither are you.
There comes a time in every relationship where you must give and take a little. Where that point comes, is hard to say...maybe even impossible. But it is not right for one person to always make apologies, one person always to take the blame. As a female, I'm speaking not only from personal experience but as a witness. It's going to sound completely corny...but as a guy, you have certain "power" over a girl. Power is giving you way too much credit, but it's the only thing that is coming to mind. You have the ability to make a girl completely happy, or terribly miserable. We only hope to have the same affect over you, even if you never show it.
We may not ever understand each other, or ever agree the other is right. But for the sake of relationships, learn about your male or female companion, and don't take anything for granted. Just give a little. Save something that is probably worth saving.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Growing Up
Today I spent, not kidding, three hours sorting through all of my old pictures from high school. I took endless amounts of film to every special event - or even on ordinary days - our school put on. Every imaginable pose, place and person was somewhere scattered on my floor today. And everytime I flipped through a different time, memories flooded back. They say a picture says a thousand words. I think mine could fill a thousand books. I sorted each picture and each event, according to time. Fall of freshman year to walking down the aisle of graduation. Granted, most of the pictures were from school events...but many, too many, were full of summer time fun. I looked at the beach, and parks, and parties...and thought about the summer I am having so far. Understandably back then, only a few of us had jobs...and those were a few hours a week. I was one of the few back then, and now am one of the few who are unemployed. Anyways. While it's obvious that growing up means taking on more responsibility, does it mean that we have to take the fun out of it?
I know that people change. Well let me rephrase that. People grow into their personalities. In reality, people don't change - too much - at all anyways. I used to think they could, but once something is engraved in you for so long, that's just the way you are. But this is getting on to a completely new topic, one that I may write about soon.
So kids grow up, we move away to college and meet a countless amount of new people and form new lives and stronger relationships. But those you have in high school should still count. For me, I think some of the best friends I will ever have came from those four years between the ages of 14 and 18. Not because I don't make friends when I am away at school, but because I don't cancel out those other relationships from earlier. And while they keep growing stronger, the newer ones are simply catching up.
Responsibilities. Jobs, school work, relationships. All are essential to growing into someone successful. But can't fun be included in that? Gone are the times when waking up early meant nothing if a little fun was to be had the night before. Whether it's watching a movie or watching a friend do a keg stand is besides the point. I feel I do the same routine day in and day out, when I should be enjoying every day..doing something new. With people, I know, would savor as well.
Growing up is just such a mystery to me. They say adolescence is fleeting, which, is definitely true. I feel like yesterday could have been my 15th birthday. But so much happens so fast, it's hard to keep up. When does it stop being ok to stay up all night taking shots, spend the night on a friend's floor, and wake up in the clothes you got ready in last night? At some point, we are all supposed to grow out of this feeling of being helpless and alone, but I feel it's only just starting.
No matter how many close friends you have, or how much you value a significant other, can anyone really understand you or your growing feelings completely? After high school I thought was the real world. But college is just more work and more parties (minus of course constant summer fun). In two years, I have to make huge decisions. How much money I need to save a month to pay off tremendous student loans. Where I want to live. What I want to do with the rest of my life. The pressure is on.
But does that really mean no more fun?
I'm getting into way too much now, all of which I should save for entries to come.
being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
the only thing that matters is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right
- the ataris
I know that people change. Well let me rephrase that. People grow into their personalities. In reality, people don't change - too much - at all anyways. I used to think they could, but once something is engraved in you for so long, that's just the way you are. But this is getting on to a completely new topic, one that I may write about soon.
So kids grow up, we move away to college and meet a countless amount of new people and form new lives and stronger relationships. But those you have in high school should still count. For me, I think some of the best friends I will ever have came from those four years between the ages of 14 and 18. Not because I don't make friends when I am away at school, but because I don't cancel out those other relationships from earlier. And while they keep growing stronger, the newer ones are simply catching up.
Responsibilities. Jobs, school work, relationships. All are essential to growing into someone successful. But can't fun be included in that? Gone are the times when waking up early meant nothing if a little fun was to be had the night before. Whether it's watching a movie or watching a friend do a keg stand is besides the point. I feel I do the same routine day in and day out, when I should be enjoying every day..doing something new. With people, I know, would savor as well.
Growing up is just such a mystery to me. They say adolescence is fleeting, which, is definitely true. I feel like yesterday could have been my 15th birthday. But so much happens so fast, it's hard to keep up. When does it stop being ok to stay up all night taking shots, spend the night on a friend's floor, and wake up in the clothes you got ready in last night? At some point, we are all supposed to grow out of this feeling of being helpless and alone, but I feel it's only just starting.
No matter how many close friends you have, or how much you value a significant other, can anyone really understand you or your growing feelings completely? After high school I thought was the real world. But college is just more work and more parties (minus of course constant summer fun). In two years, I have to make huge decisions. How much money I need to save a month to pay off tremendous student loans. Where I want to live. What I want to do with the rest of my life. The pressure is on.
But does that really mean no more fun?
I'm getting into way too much now, all of which I should save for entries to come.
being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
the only thing that matters is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right
- the ataris
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Fairytales Vs. Fate
I love to read. Anything, pretty much. This summer I’m doing a great job keeping up with books, assuming nothing much else is taking up my time. The passion has inspired my career choice as well.
When we are younger, our parents feed to us hundreds of books and stories about princesses and princes, far-off lands and dreams. Children’s books are full of morals and lessons, all ending “happily ever after.” Because of this, from a very young age some of us are determined that things will always have these simplistic plots and happy endings. In consequence, experiences growing up pretty much shoot these fairytale wishes to hell. I guess it makes me naïve, and a bit ridiculous to read fictional books now and expect the actions within to take place in everyday affairs. Having said that, it is primarily my fault when something does not go ‘according to plan.’
Books amaze me. I recently read, twice I should add, “The Pact” written by Jodi Picoult. I love anything by this woman, so I am going to recommend her works to you. Anyways, “The Pact” was a story that, I’m going to say reached out to me at the risk of sounding really cheesy. But it did. I suppose the way it all played out, and the true feelings of each character made me enjoy it all the more. It’s funny how certain words in certain organization in certain parts of a story can have such a strong impact on someone’s psyche. Just like a fairytale, the book makes you want more out of anything in life, particularly a relationship. Maybe it is dangerous ground, expecting true life to come out of a script. Maybe it’s just a setup for a let-down. Either way, I think the passion behind a book is what makes it worth reading. And whether or not this passion can be a reality…well I guess that is specific to the reader.
If this isn’t making any sense to you, it’s ok. I’m having a hard time relating what I mean. Let me try again. Have you ever watched a movie, listened to the lyrics of a song, or read a really really great book and wanted to be a part of it? Or more specific, wanted the feelings and the actions of the characters to come out in people in your own life? Well, I’m one to read a book about some sappy love, and then expect candles and roses in my bedroom the next day.
Ok, I’m not that ridiculous. But it really makes you think about things. I get scared that maybe I’m just settling. Maybe there is a better job or a better school for me somewhere else, and I just went to State because of convenience. School isn’t the only thing either. But then I realize that maybe I just have way too high of expectations for certain things, and will never be satisfied.
Maybe the bedtime stories our parents used to read to us or the books we read now are just blurred visions of realities. Maybe writers started out wondering like me, and made up these stories in order to satisfy their own misfortunes.
This might be obvious and redundant, but I think words are the reason why (girls especially) love certain songs the way we do. Why love stories and anecdotes of accomplishments reach out to us so much. Words written in fantasy that probably never will be played out in real-life, but knowing that someone out there thinks like we do. Thinks enough of it to write it out, publish it for anyone to see.
I always want to wish that I can create my own fate. Wish it into the fairytales we all once believed. Wish it into my own ‘happily ever after.’
When we are younger, our parents feed to us hundreds of books and stories about princesses and princes, far-off lands and dreams. Children’s books are full of morals and lessons, all ending “happily ever after.” Because of this, from a very young age some of us are determined that things will always have these simplistic plots and happy endings. In consequence, experiences growing up pretty much shoot these fairytale wishes to hell. I guess it makes me naïve, and a bit ridiculous to read fictional books now and expect the actions within to take place in everyday affairs. Having said that, it is primarily my fault when something does not go ‘according to plan.’
Books amaze me. I recently read, twice I should add, “The Pact” written by Jodi Picoult. I love anything by this woman, so I am going to recommend her works to you. Anyways, “The Pact” was a story that, I’m going to say reached out to me at the risk of sounding really cheesy. But it did. I suppose the way it all played out, and the true feelings of each character made me enjoy it all the more. It’s funny how certain words in certain organization in certain parts of a story can have such a strong impact on someone’s psyche. Just like a fairytale, the book makes you want more out of anything in life, particularly a relationship. Maybe it is dangerous ground, expecting true life to come out of a script. Maybe it’s just a setup for a let-down. Either way, I think the passion behind a book is what makes it worth reading. And whether or not this passion can be a reality…well I guess that is specific to the reader.
If this isn’t making any sense to you, it’s ok. I’m having a hard time relating what I mean. Let me try again. Have you ever watched a movie, listened to the lyrics of a song, or read a really really great book and wanted to be a part of it? Or more specific, wanted the feelings and the actions of the characters to come out in people in your own life? Well, I’m one to read a book about some sappy love, and then expect candles and roses in my bedroom the next day.
Ok, I’m not that ridiculous. But it really makes you think about things. I get scared that maybe I’m just settling. Maybe there is a better job or a better school for me somewhere else, and I just went to State because of convenience. School isn’t the only thing either. But then I realize that maybe I just have way too high of expectations for certain things, and will never be satisfied.
Maybe the bedtime stories our parents used to read to us or the books we read now are just blurred visions of realities. Maybe writers started out wondering like me, and made up these stories in order to satisfy their own misfortunes.
This might be obvious and redundant, but I think words are the reason why (girls especially) love certain songs the way we do. Why love stories and anecdotes of accomplishments reach out to us so much. Words written in fantasy that probably never will be played out in real-life, but knowing that someone out there thinks like we do. Thinks enough of it to write it out, publish it for anyone to see.
I always want to wish that I can create my own fate. Wish it into the fairytales we all once believed. Wish it into my own ‘happily ever after.’
Monday, July 9, 2007
Here it is again, me attempting to start a blog and never going through with it. This time, I actually have to for a number of reasons. Firstly, to be any kind of journalist these days you need two things: clips and stories to show off and knowledge of the internet. I can Google all I want, but until I learn what really goes on behind the scenes of this, I'll never get a job in my field. Second, as you all know my summer job is nonexistent. Not for lack of trying, but because my resume, apparently sucks. Anyways... So if I want to do anything productive this vacation, I'm going to update this blog and have something to show for myself come JRN 306.
You don't have to read this, obviously. Nothing too personal is going to come up in here...just widespread and random topics. So as I said, I am going into journalism. Not writing for newspapers, not as an anchor...but as a what exactly I'm not sure. So I figure as much practice in the field I can get is more of a good thing than not. Just like any other normal girl, I watch Sex and the City and want to be Carrie Bradshaw and have the dream journalism jobs that you see in movies. Hopefully, I can get there someday. For now, its this blog. Humor me. (Oh, I'm also going to try to remember to type in AP style, the standard for journalism. I'm not the best at it...but then again it's not like anyone reading this will know it any better.)
I spent almost 20 minutes trying to think of a title for this damn thing. I don't even like the one I came up with, I just typed something in the box to get started with this. For some reason the title is really important to me, and before I said that none of you would have probably noticed. Now, you are looking at it and thinking "how ridiculous." And I am going really off of track here...
Not all true actually, because I never assigned a track to be followed. This will happen a lot in here I feel, because I'm not planning on this being an organized blog. Just practice.
I'm not sure how everything comes out when I type it either. This may sound weird, but during the day I think of things I could type and write down that make complete and perfect sense. But when it actually comes down to it, everything comes out odd and wrong. These are the areas I really need to work on I suppose.
I had a lot of conversations with different people today that could come as appropriate topics for tonight's entry. But for now, I think I'll just leave it as an introduction. Get started tomorrow.
Goodnight
You don't have to read this, obviously. Nothing too personal is going to come up in here...just widespread and random topics. So as I said, I am going into journalism. Not writing for newspapers, not as an anchor...but as a what exactly I'm not sure. So I figure as much practice in the field I can get is more of a good thing than not. Just like any other normal girl, I watch Sex and the City and want to be Carrie Bradshaw and have the dream journalism jobs that you see in movies. Hopefully, I can get there someday. For now, its this blog. Humor me. (Oh, I'm also going to try to remember to type in AP style, the standard for journalism. I'm not the best at it...but then again it's not like anyone reading this will know it any better.)
I spent almost 20 minutes trying to think of a title for this damn thing. I don't even like the one I came up with, I just typed something in the box to get started with this. For some reason the title is really important to me, and before I said that none of you would have probably noticed. Now, you are looking at it and thinking "how ridiculous." And I am going really off of track here...
Not all true actually, because I never assigned a track to be followed. This will happen a lot in here I feel, because I'm not planning on this being an organized blog. Just practice.
I'm not sure how everything comes out when I type it either. This may sound weird, but during the day I think of things I could type and write down that make complete and perfect sense. But when it actually comes down to it, everything comes out odd and wrong. These are the areas I really need to work on I suppose.
I had a lot of conversations with different people today that could come as appropriate topics for tonight's entry. But for now, I think I'll just leave it as an introduction. Get started tomorrow.
Goodnight
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